Behind the door, in the dark,
you lurk, more frightening
than those childhood monsters
my mother conquered
with a click of the light switch.
For decades, you possessed me,
altered me, held me prisoner,
brought me to my knees, impoverished
in so many ways.
There were days when
the sun broke through the clouds
and my doubts cleared
under the cerulean sky,
when my escape seemed certain
and a song of rejoicing
already softened my lips.
But, no. You tracked me
and lay in wait.
Ambush was only
a matter of time.
Why, then, did you let me go
when I last ran?
Why was the line you drew
in the sand
so shallow and vague?
At play in the waves,
I only realized I'd crossed it
when I looked back
at the beach
and saw I was alone.
How brave I felt!
How bold and proud!
Children bounded and splashed
around me, grinning back
at my self-satisfied smile.
If only-- If only! If only I'd stayed
closer to shore--
If only the current
that bore me further out
had been clear and blue,
not cold and opaque
as unfeeling jade.
Maybe then I might have
noticed the crescent shadow
that flickered
in the depths,
beneath me.
Maybe then, I'd still be
innocent of your insidious
grasp, ensnaring my ankle
so delicately,
a mere tickle.
Maybe then, I'd have remembered
to leave the light on
as I slipped below
the surface of sleep
into unfathomable dreams.
(c) 2013, by Hannah Six
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